Father's Day 2010

It was pointed out to me today that I do not blog about my kids.  I don't.  I do post about them on FB but I usually blog about issues that I am dealing with or are of an interest to me.

If that is the case then I should blog about my kids.  They are the loves of my life.  So, here it goes....

I became a father 10.5 years ago.  My baby was born Sept.  20th of 1999.  I scared to death.  I was afraid of her!  But my wife was semi patient with me.  I got through it.  Then we went and had a boy.  I was scared of him too!  Hugging and kissing and cuddling a little girl was one thing.  But I (I never had much physical affection as a kid) had an issue with doing that with a boy.  Well, now I am heart broken because he has it in his head that it is wrong for a boy to kiss his dad.  It is funny how things turn around on you.  I now have a third child.  My Bug.  All three have a special place in my heart.  All three are mine to love.  All three are precious.

And maybe that is why I feel so depressed this Father's Day.  I have put these kids through so much because I can't get my life striaght.  I can't seem to get it right to provide for them.  I don't want to be rich.  I don't want to give them anything they want.  But I want to give them more than I do.  More that I can. 

This has been my struggle with God recently.  I want to give them a house and yard.  I want to give them a home.  But it aludes me.  God alludes me.  I allude me.

So with thay said, Let me tell you about me kids.  Rebekah is the oldest.  She is our Boo.  Bekah Boo.  At 10 yrs she has been through a lot.  She has epilipicy.  But she is a good kid.  She gets over stimulated easily but enjoys herself most of the time.  She has the most beautiful smile and the brightest eyes.  That is my Boo.

Caleb is the little gentleman.  Mama's Little Man.  Daddy's Little padawan.  His dedication to things like cubscouts and his family is a trait I wish I had myself.  It is amazing how you can look at your kids for the very traits you yourelf desire.

Last is my cuddle bug.  Sarah is my youngest.  She is bright and cheerful.  Very loving and affectionant.  Yet intense when she is mad!  The perfet blend of stuborness and bullheadiness.  I don't know she gets those traits from!  LoL.  Seriously, I could not imagine life with out her.  Kind and loving are her defining traits.

I love each of them.