Father's Day 2010

It was pointed out to me today that I do not blog about my kids.  I don't.  I do post about them on FB but I usually blog about issues that I am dealing with or are of an interest to me.

If that is the case then I should blog about my kids.  They are the loves of my life.  So, here it goes....

I became a father 10.5 years ago.  My baby was born Sept.  20th of 1999.  I scared to death.  I was afraid of her!  But my wife was semi patient with me.  I got through it.  Then we went and had a boy.  I was scared of him too!  Hugging and kissing and cuddling a little girl was one thing.  But I (I never had much physical affection as a kid) had an issue with doing that with a boy.  Well, now I am heart broken because he has it in his head that it is wrong for a boy to kiss his dad.  It is funny how things turn around on you.  I now have a third child.  My Bug.  All three have a special place in my heart.  All three are mine to love.  All three are precious.

And maybe that is why I feel so depressed this Father's Day.  I have put these kids through so much because I can't get my life striaght.  I can't seem to get it right to provide for them.  I don't want to be rich.  I don't want to give them anything they want.  But I want to give them more than I do.  More that I can. 

This has been my struggle with God recently.  I want to give them a house and yard.  I want to give them a home.  But it aludes me.  God alludes me.  I allude me.

So with thay said, Let me tell you about me kids.  Rebekah is the oldest.  She is our Boo.  Bekah Boo.  At 10 yrs she has been through a lot.  She has epilipicy.  But she is a good kid.  She gets over stimulated easily but enjoys herself most of the time.  She has the most beautiful smile and the brightest eyes.  That is my Boo.

Caleb is the little gentleman.  Mama's Little Man.  Daddy's Little padawan.  His dedication to things like cubscouts and his family is a trait I wish I had myself.  It is amazing how you can look at your kids for the very traits you yourelf desire.

Last is my cuddle bug.  Sarah is my youngest.  She is bright and cheerful.  Very loving and affectionant.  Yet intense when she is mad!  The perfet blend of stuborness and bullheadiness.  I don't know she gets those traits from!  LoL.  Seriously, I could not imagine life with out her.  Kind and loving are her defining traits.

I love each of them.

Politicas and Religion: Banned

I had a thought.  What do people talk about?  It has been said that you can talk about anything except Poiltics and religion.  It is presumed that it is because of the heated disscussions that can insue.  Yet when with my friends, we talk more or less lightly about various things but never too deep.  As a matter of fact, while gathered the other night, a friend said that we could and should make a radio show of our random discussions.  "It would be funny,"  was how it was discribed.  So it occured to me that at one time people did not have TV, radio, or even much in the way of books, not to mention the light at night to do so.  Did they sit around making cude jokes and picking on each other?  Or did they discuss the day's work?  Maybe they broke the rule and discussed politics.  I tend to believe that they discussed inportant issues like wether the US should get involved in the war with Spain of Mexico.  I know that would sit and disscuss the latest news from big cities.  So why was it good for them but we have refrain from it?

I simply believe it is because we don't want to make  a stand.  These folks knew less that we did becausethey did not have the rapid flow of info that we have today.  But they had oppinions about politics and religion.  They were wrong at times but atleast they stood for something.

Do you stand for something?  Do you speake out about it?  If not, don't let the "rule" of politics and religion: banned get in your way. 

A battle to be fought.

I have been stuggling with the idea of violence and killing.  It may seem obvious that killing is wrong.  The ten commandments say so.  So do the laws of all most all of the countries in the world.  Yet, people kill people.  Sometimes it is justified and sometimes not.  But how do you justify a sin?  But alas, this is not strictly about killing but about violence.

John Elder teachs about men needing a battle to fight.  I have been wondering about this since I have been addressing the issue of war and killing.  I war is wrong and not justified, then how can we justify "battle"? 

I think I understand.  Reading in a book by Dave Wolverton, Star Wars:  The Courtship of Princess Leia, Luke explains the difference in using the Force as the "intent".  You see, his view of the Force is how you intend on using it.  Selfish use leads to the Dark Side.  Using it in anger does as well.  But if your intent is for good, then it is the Light Side of the Force.  Fighting or battling I think is the same way. 

Now I know that you could apply this to war and killing as well, and I agree.  But war and killing should never happen unless it is needed in the defense of others.  A fine line but those who seek God's wisdom first should be able to distinguish between the two. 

So what about this Battle to Fight?  Is this where we men get dressed up in our suit of armor and get lifted onto our horses and try to stab each other with a spear on seriods?  Or maybe it is when we face each other in the middle of a dusty street winking into the sun with a tough grimince on our face waiting for the other person to "draw" first.  Maybe it is like a scene from Good Will Hunting when Will and his friends get out of their car and starts a fight on the basket ball court just because one of the guys had said something about Will.  It was man against man and no holds barred.  But then maybe it is none of that and it is the  man and car against man and his car racing around the tract just to see who drives best and fastest. 

Honestly, I think that it is the challenging things that we battle against.  I have fought to get where I am now and I am fighting still to go farther still.  It is our fears.  It is ourselves we must fight.  You see, I am where I am (which is not too far) not because I have fought others but I have fought the fear with in me.  I have fought myself  I am my own worst enemy.  And instead of excepting myself the way I am, I am excepting only that inwhich God made me to be.  And I am not there yet.  But I am fighting to get there.

The battle to be fought is the daily battle for our own selves.  Our own hearts.  Go and fight the good fight young paddiwan.  Go.