Pro-life, pro-choice, pro-capital punishment, anti-capital punishment, pro-euthanasia, anti-euthanasia, etc.
All of these revolve around the issue of life. You could even throw in pro war/anti war issues too if you wanted to. But I am really exploring the issue of euthanasia. I heard a radio host talking about a guy named Garry Phebus. Mr Phebus is a man from Georgia that wants to donate his organs-- now. He has Lou Gehrig's disease. This is a terminal illness. Right now he is fairly healthy as far as the illness goes. He cannot walk much and his vision is poor. But his organs are in good condition. All he wants to do is donate his organs now. He knows he is dying and his life will only get worse. He wants to have surgery to remove his organs and donate them. This will kill him of course.
He talked it over with his family and wife who all understand what he wants to do. No doctor will do it. Only three states offer assisted suicide. He is also looking into other countries that might do it. Our current way of looking at this issue is that life is the most important issue and must be preserved even if the individual does not want to live.
I must say that this shakes a few of my thoughts about life. I work in health care and have seen people in suffering conditions. You don't know how much pain you can feel when you are caring for someone who lays there dying. The sound of their breathing. There vacant look in their eyes. The lack of movement. Cleaning up any waste (there usually is none), swabbing and moistening their lips. Death is hard to see. Suffering is worse.
But should we help people die? I am inclined to yes. If you think about it this way, they have nothing much to live for except to make their family feel better. The dementia patient that has no clue who they are or their own family. They cannot talk. They cannot comprehend. The cancer patient whose organs are failed or failing. The Lou Gehrig's patient who has nothing but suffering to look forward to. If the only reason they continue living is to make their loved ones feel better, is that good enough.
This host believes that this guy should be allowed to donate his organs now. I may not agree with every point he made but I have to consider one: what about that person who needs a liver? Are they not important? If that person gets a liver, they will live a good quality life. Garry will not if he lives.
I am in fact, thinking that what he wants to do is more Christ like than what we all do. It may just be the ultimate sacrifice. What do you think? Thoughts, comments?
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Friday, July 23, 2010
The trouble with girls.....or is it me?
As a boy, I always wanted to get married. I loved the idea of being married because I wanted kids. I wanted a wife too but I don't think I really joined the two together. Partily because I was scared of girls. But mustly because I liked girls for a TOTALLY different reason I liked kids. But it is hard to have one without the other.
But I often felt that I would probably not have a family. I never thought I would have a girl who would marry me. I was ugly. A nerd. A reject. Me talking to a girl would have been amasing. Atleast intimantly. So I thought that ultimantly, I would be single all of my life. My desire was to have someone to love. A wife, and a kid or two. I had a few girlfriends through the years of puberty. Most were because they liked me and voiced their feelings. My way of dealing with the fear I had, and justifing not facing that fear, was to say that if she really liked me, she would ask me out. Fact is, I was just too scared.
As a matter of fact, I remember in high school, a gorl named Michelle and I started talking a bit and then she started dating a guy named Chris. After that, I was talking to her and she confessed she had a crush on me once. But, she said I never acted on my feeling and so I missed my chance. I was dumb. You se, I had crushes on so many girls in school. I just never acted on them. Paula, Michelle, Nikki, Kelly, Rea, Karla, April, Ect. I could go on and on and on. One of them, Danyelle, did get my number and called me. We started dating and were going to get married. That is a different story. Key is, she called me first.
Perhaps, the strongest feelings felt towards a girl in high school was Ann (name changed to protect her privacy). She was the girl I crushed on the hardest and longest. And we became very close. We shared private feelings and emotions. But I never acted on my feelings. I just loved her. I was sure even to this day, she never felt the same. We did "date" once. For a week. You know, the whole, "we are going out" thing but never really going out. She broke up with me because she said, "I was the kind of guy she could fall in love with." I don't know if I believed her. Still don't know. That was the begining of my senior year.
Funny thing is that we continued to be best friends. We talked all the time on the phone and even passed a notebook of notes to each other back and forth in school. I remember that I kissed her once. It was the sweetest softest kiss I had ever had. Of course she was the third girl I had kissed. The first girl almost didn't count since she was very agressive in wanting to kiss me and I did not really like her. The second was Danyelle and I certainly wanted to! But with Ann, it happened at a class party at school and never went anywhere. I still had Danyelle and she had a boyfriend. We just got too close while dancing. But I could have acted. I could have pursued it. But she had said she just wanted frienship when we broke up. I respected that.
Now, 20 years after I graduated high school, I am married to the most beautiful woman and have three kids. Did I ever get over my fear of girls? No. They still scare me senseless! But some how, I had a brief moment of courage, or insanity, and asked my now wife out on a date. After that, she has made it easy to be myself and not fear her. I say insanity because I liken that act with jumping of a cliff. I did it when I kissed "Ann" and when I kissed another girl when I was in the Marines. I did it when I asked Charity out. And kept doing it with her because she drew me to do it. Like that light to a moth.
So is the trouble with girls or is it me? I would say it is me. Because I of this I sometimes wonder if any of the girls in my past ever wonder what would have happened if that cute but slightly off nice guy had asked them out. Or if "Ann" ever wished things were different. If I had acted on my feeling, I would never had known my wife. But I would not have cared. I couyld have gone out with Michelle. I could have done a lot. But now, I know. Now I have a lot. Now, facing the fear is worth it.
But I often felt that I would probably not have a family. I never thought I would have a girl who would marry me. I was ugly. A nerd. A reject. Me talking to a girl would have been amasing. Atleast intimantly. So I thought that ultimantly, I would be single all of my life. My desire was to have someone to love. A wife, and a kid or two. I had a few girlfriends through the years of puberty. Most were because they liked me and voiced their feelings. My way of dealing with the fear I had, and justifing not facing that fear, was to say that if she really liked me, she would ask me out. Fact is, I was just too scared.
As a matter of fact, I remember in high school, a gorl named Michelle and I started talking a bit and then she started dating a guy named Chris. After that, I was talking to her and she confessed she had a crush on me once. But, she said I never acted on my feeling and so I missed my chance. I was dumb. You se, I had crushes on so many girls in school. I just never acted on them. Paula, Michelle, Nikki, Kelly, Rea, Karla, April, Ect. I could go on and on and on. One of them, Danyelle, did get my number and called me. We started dating and were going to get married. That is a different story. Key is, she called me first.
Perhaps, the strongest feelings felt towards a girl in high school was Ann (name changed to protect her privacy). She was the girl I crushed on the hardest and longest. And we became very close. We shared private feelings and emotions. But I never acted on my feelings. I just loved her. I was sure even to this day, she never felt the same. We did "date" once. For a week. You know, the whole, "we are going out" thing but never really going out. She broke up with me because she said, "I was the kind of guy she could fall in love with." I don't know if I believed her. Still don't know. That was the begining of my senior year.
Funny thing is that we continued to be best friends. We talked all the time on the phone and even passed a notebook of notes to each other back and forth in school. I remember that I kissed her once. It was the sweetest softest kiss I had ever had. Of course she was the third girl I had kissed. The first girl almost didn't count since she was very agressive in wanting to kiss me and I did not really like her. The second was Danyelle and I certainly wanted to! But with Ann, it happened at a class party at school and never went anywhere. I still had Danyelle and she had a boyfriend. We just got too close while dancing. But I could have acted. I could have pursued it. But she had said she just wanted frienship when we broke up. I respected that.
Now, 20 years after I graduated high school, I am married to the most beautiful woman and have three kids. Did I ever get over my fear of girls? No. They still scare me senseless! But some how, I had a brief moment of courage, or insanity, and asked my now wife out on a date. After that, she has made it easy to be myself and not fear her. I say insanity because I liken that act with jumping of a cliff. I did it when I kissed "Ann" and when I kissed another girl when I was in the Marines. I did it when I asked Charity out. And kept doing it with her because she drew me to do it. Like that light to a moth.
So is the trouble with girls or is it me? I would say it is me. Because I of this I sometimes wonder if any of the girls in my past ever wonder what would have happened if that cute but slightly off nice guy had asked them out. Or if "Ann" ever wished things were different. If I had acted on my feeling, I would never had known my wife. But I would not have cared. I couyld have gone out with Michelle. I could have done a lot. But now, I know. Now I have a lot. Now, facing the fear is worth it.
Friday, July 2, 2010
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